YOU Be the Girl!
Don't Be His Friend!
Are You Obsessed?
How to Do Intimacy
Relationship Advice for Women - Have you ever felt
completely obsessed by a man? Where you can't eat,
sleep, or look at a telephone without thinking about
him? Where you spend most of your time trying to
figure out what went wrong or why he hasn't called,
or why he's all of a sudden so distant?
I remember that feeling of dread in my stomach. Most
of my clients have been through that—sometimes over
and over again. Doesn't it just make you feel like
you're back in high school?
Like your hormones seem to have complete control
over your body and your mind and you're just living
off of the crumbs he gives you? Or what you remember
he once gave you? It doesn't have to be like that.
Rori Raye says that just
because we're women, because we're sensitive, kind
and caring doesn't mean we have to give ourselves up
to keep our men. In fact, it's just the opposite. We
keep our men always moving toward us by reducing
their importance in our lives.
Sounds easy, I know, but truly - there's a way to
make this change for yourself that's not hard work
or painful - it just takes a step-by-step approach,
and you have to know the steps. I remember a man
taking over so many of my thoughts that it seemed
like he was taking over my life, too. And I remember
that happening over and over again, like a record I
couldn't turn off. It would be a different man, but
the same record.
I felt humiliated. But I figured it out, and when I
did, the record stopped and the men who showed up
were completely different than those men I'd been so
hung up on. That's when my husband showed up, and I
was able to fall in love with him, let him pursue me
and WIN me, marry me - all without hearing those
obsessive thoughts in my head. And if I did it - I
KNOW you can.
Here's a Tool to help you get started:
Even if you've never had a full-blown obsession with
a man, where you can barely imagine living without
him and always live in fear of him breaking up with
you, have you ever run your schedule around him?
Made your plans around him? Watched what you said
and didn't say around him? Wanted to make him happy
and make him love you so much that you forgot how to
just be yourself? Thought his moods were your fault?
Thought when he withdrew that what you needed to do
was be "nicer" and "more understanding?"
Well, the first thing to do that will work the
fastest to reduce the importance of a man in your
life (even if he's THE most important thing - I
don't want you to allow him to become the ONLY
important thing) is to stop doing all of the above.
That means - no scheduling around him, no making
plans around him, no watching what you say and don't
say, no trying to make him happy or make him love
you, no "nice" and no "understanding" when something
he does or doesn't do makes YOU unhappy. The second
thing is to get something else IMPORTANT into your
life. And that would be YOU.
Here's how it works, according to Rori Raye of
Have the Relationship You
You look out a window and imagine what it is that
you love (aside from him). Imagine the love in your
heart, all that energy and sweetness and passion,
going out the window to that thing you love - it
might be painting, or the beach, or giving to those
less fortunate, or helping people in your special,
unique way. Of course, I call this Tool OUT THE
These two steps sound easy, and they are - if you're
willing. Because before you can make any kind of
change, you have to want to. And it's hard to want
something you've never seen or done before (except
with men you don't care about). It's hard to
believe, if you've never seen it work, that it WILL
work. And yet, I've seen it work brilliantly in my
own life, and in the lives of all my clients. It
works. You won't be the one woman it doesn't work
No matter how unusual you believe you are, no matter
how low your self-esteem, no matter how scattered
your thoughts or how negative you feel right at this
moment, it will work. As soon as you stop doing all
the man-pleasing behaviors you've been doing, you'll
see two things happen:
One, your man, or the man emailing you, or the man
you're meeting for a first date at a coffee shop,
will sit up and notice that YOU'RE A VERY COOL GIRL.
He'll notice you're cool, because you'll be probably
the first woman he's met who doesn't need to think
about how HE'S doing before she thinks about how
SHE'S doing! He'll notice that there's absolutely no
pressure in being with you. He'll notice that you
trust yourself enough to be yourself instead of
wondering and caring what he thinks about you. He'll
notice that you TRUST HIM enough to be yourself
instead of wondering and caring what he thinks about
And it'll be such a relief, such a powerful,
mysteriously sexy thing for him to be with a woman
who puts herself first, he'll be like a kid in a toy
store, and you're the best toy. You'll see his
energy come toward you in a different way than
you're used to.
Instead of working hard to get his interest, instead
of working at being smart, clever, charming and
appealing, you'll be shocked to notice he just
thinks YOU ARE smart, clever, charming, appealing,
and totally sexy. You lean back, and he leans
forward. And that's only step one.
***Rori Raye - Step two, OUT THE WINDOW lets you
come alive with the passion you feel for YOUR OWN
interests. He gets to be around while you share your
deepest feelings about small things - like the
weather, the restaurant atmosphere, the trip you
took last year - and almost immediately, he starts
to feel that "Here's a woman with EMOTIONAL DEPTH.
She GETS me!" And he leans in toward you. And he
listens to you. And he asks questions.
And then when you gently toss the ball back to him
with a "And how 'bout you?" He feels so comfortable
with you, he tells you everything. Because you're so
not caring about impressing him with how you
understand and hear everything he says (if it's
interesting, right?) you're able to just lean back
and listen, and BE THERE with him.
He's so unused to any woman JUST BEING, instead of
always doing around him all the time you completely
capture his attention, his energy, his heart. And
this is how it works. Even with just this bit of
information, you can completely turn around a
relationship you're already in, or completely change
your love life. These two steps will change your
mindset - the way you think about being in a
relationship and what you have to do to keep it
***Here's a letter from Lizbeth, who turned things
around so fast - overnight - she's amazed:
Maybe not even 5 minutes of me sending this message,
Jim buzzed my apartment! He held me and told me how
much he had missed me (the last time I saw him was
Sunday) - What the?
Surprised, ... u-huh. I'm staring at this man with
eyes as big as jumbo marshmallows and not knowing
what to say. It was awesome!!! There was absolutely
no tension, and it was like there was never any
worries or problems between us. BUT I DIDN'T DO
ANYTHING!!!!!!! I don't get it!!
Today he worked during the day and I just got home
from working the evening shift. I didn't call nor
did I feel the need to. Sigh. Big sigh. We are
planning on seeing each other tomorrow, according to
him. And I'm just going to let him do all the work.
In the past, he would show up in the morning and we
would go off and do our thing for the day.
Now all of a sudden things have gotten back to what
they were. I can't help but feel really cautious
about stuff since it seemed like such a 180 over
night. Just like you said. Wow, unbelievable and
what do I do to continue this. Nothing, right?
Let me know how things are going for you, I look
forward to every success that happens for you.
If you've already downloaded my Have The
Relationship You Want e-book, work through it. If
you'd like to get it now,